Countdowns

Student Teaching: Two Days
I figure I might want to shoot off an e-mail to Teacher Monica and remind her that the rest of my life is about to begin in her classroom in less than 48 hours.  You know, just to make sure she's ready.  Because I am definitely ready.  One hundred percent..........

Except for:
Getting on a sleeping schedule conducive to waking up at 5am
Remembering how to pack a lunch for myself
Picking out a first day of school outfit
Actually being in Spokane (I'll check that one off the list tomorrow)
Making sure my car isn't buried in snow
Making sure my car hasn't been stolen
Looking over my MASSIVE binder of Student Teaching Requirements to see, you know, what it is I'm supposed to do
Admitting to myself that I'm actually in my final semester of college and I will be student teaching in less than 48 hours

So... yeah...Other than that.... I'm set.

Another countdown that has proven itself to be rather intrusive on my day-to-day quality of life: Teach for America decision-  10 days.

I told myself after my 6 hour final interview that "It's out of my hands now!" and "Just getting to the final stage is an accomplishment in itself!" and "If I showed them who I really am, they have to pick me!"  Why are all of these sentiments in quotations?  Because it's what everyone else has told me and sound really great and therapeutic during this waiting game.  What's really going on in my head is something a little more like this: Shit I should have checked over my answers one more time on that problem solving activity I totally forgot to label my notes for the group discussion speaking of that group discussion I should have talked more maybe I should have been more flexible on my placement region only 3 people from Gonzaga have been selected so far this year........ And so on and so forth.  My stream of consciousness clearly does not allow for much punctuation/logical structuring of thought, but luckily I have my friends and family to provide the logical and optimistic mindset that I am currently lacking.

I hestitated to even mention this whole Teach for America thing on here because I have a complex about not getting things.  I would much rather have not told a single person that I was applying for this program so that I could just surprise everyone with the grand news of my acceptance... or continue to pretend nothing had happened if I end up not getting in.  I mean, as if it doesn't already suck enough to tell myself that I didn't make it, having to tell everyone else reaches, if not surpasses, an equal level of suckage.  But, in reality, finding ways to cover up my 90 minute phone interview and the 6 hours taken out of my day for the final interview as well as the mock lesson I practiced aloud in my room beforehand just wasn't happening.  So be it.  Everyone who matters knows that I applied and reached the third and final stage.  And now you all can know that the month and a half I've had to wait is now down to 10 days.  And I have come to accept that 10 days from now, I will either be in..... or out.  In the case of the latter, do me a favor- keep spouting out those logical optimistic phrases onto which I can desperately cling... thanks :)